I am so sorry you are hurting. I know that it’s horrible and nothing feels right and you don’t know what to do, that you feel so alone and you’re worried you’ll never feel the same again.
Heartbreak is hell.
And although it’s been quite a while since I’ve dealt with it, I can still feel the emptiness in my chest and the desperate need for someone else who doesn’t feel the same way. I spent a long, long time being heartbroken and I didn’t do myself any favours – I’m here to tell you my advice on how to make the most of a bad situation. Nothing will make this better straight away, but some things may help.
1.Acknowledge Your Emotions: You’re Allowed To Hurt
I was 15 when I got heartbroken, and boy did I know about it. I told myself ‘You’re 14, it wasn’t real love, you’ll get over it” and I did, but it took a while. It may have been a relationship that only lasted a couple of months at a time but it hurt like hell for years. And I wholeheartedly believe that it was because I didn’t let myself deal with it properly.
You’re allowed to feel this pain. The person you’ve lost meant so much to you, understand that you’ll need a bit of time to come to terms with it. 15 or not, heartbreak is one of the worst pains I’ve ever experienced and it deservs to be acknowledged as a real feeling. Spend a couple of times in bed, watch break up films and cry to sad songs. Look a thei pictures and grieve everything you’ve lost. It’s oka to feel hurt.
2.Accept: Everything Happens For A Reason
Sometimes it might feel like a mistake. Like you were in the wrong, you should’ve been a better girlfriend and if you can just show him you can change, everything will be fine.
Whether or not you’re a bad girlfriend, break ups don’t just happen, there are reasons behind it. If the relationship was flawed enough for the person to be unhappy, it needs to come to an end. Whether or not you end up back together or you end up falling in love with someone else, this event is supposed to happen at this time. There is a plan for you, whether it’s a couple of months on a break to grow or the chance to find someone you really do love. You need to have faith that everything will work out for the best.
This is something that is supposed to happen so stop fighting it, just accept it for what it is.
3. Move On: Out Of Sight, Out Of Mind
You’ve had your time to look like crap and stalk their Facebook for a couple of weeks but enough is enough. Talking here is the queen of hanging on for too long and all it did was cause a lot of heartache. Now is the time to move on with your life, and that means cutting them out. You cannot fully focus on yourself if you’re preoccupied with someone else.
That means block them on Facebook, and every other social media website. Delete their photos or at least put them somewhere you won’t be able to look at them for a while. Stop worrying about them, thinking about them and watching them. Focus on you.
Start a new hobby. Go out with your friends. Create something new and work on improving yourself and growing while you have to chance to enjoy your own company. To be truly happy in a relationship, you have to be happy on your own, so your future relationships are choices and not just being dependant on someone because you’re too scred to be alone. Spend some time with no distractions and really get to know yourself, turn into the person you want to be so you’re perfect for the person who is perfect for you.
They will come along.
Fun fact: My boyfriend and I actually got together three years after we broke up, and we’ve now been together for nearly two years. I am so happy in this relationship and it always feels perfect, and I can see now why I had to get hurt before. I needed to fall in love with the right person but at the wrong time, neither of us were ready but when we were, the connection was there. Everything worked out exactly the way it was supposed to. And it will for you too, I promise.
Thank you for reading,