Loving Kindness Meditation

A theory is that the more compassionate and empathetic we are with others, the happier we will be. Loving Kindness meditation can help strengthen out relationships, help us to forgive others, let go of grudges that continue to hurt us, and improve our own self acceptance. Incorporating a quick 5 minute practice into your day to day life will have significant effects on your mood, emotional intelligence and self purpose.

So first I want you to find a comfortable seat. If you want to use a cushion to prop yourself up and improve your posture, go ahead. Close your eyes or keep them slightly open if you’re tired, and begin to take notice of your breath. Take 10 deep breaths.

Next, begin to create a positive energy between your hands. Direct all of your feelings of compassion, kindness and love towards it. Wish happiness, peace, safety and protection towards the area between your hands and allow the feeling to spread and wash over your entire body.

Now imagine meeting yourself and giving yourself a hug. Wrap your arms tight around yourself and give yourself the amazing feeling of warmth and love you have created. Send the positive energy to yourself and allow it to take over your entire body. Then, either outloud or in your head, say:

  • May I be happy and joyful
  • May I be healthy and strong
  • May I be calm and peaceful
  • May I be safe and secure
  • I am perfect, I am loved

Next, think of someone you love. It could be a family member, a close friend or someone you look up to. Wrap your arms around them in your mind and send your positive energy to them. Then, say:

  • May you be happy and joyful
  • May you be healthy and strong
  • May you be calm and peaceful
  • May you be safe and secure
  • You are perfect, you are loved

Next, think of an aqquantice. Someone you know but aren’t friends with, or someone you saw walking down to street. Hug them tightly and say:

  • May you be happy and joyful,
  • May you be…

Then think someone who has hurt you, or someone you are holding a grudge against. Repeat the same previous steps, saying the five sentences in your head, directed at them.

Now imagine every person in the world. People you know and people you don’t. Think of the richest people in the world to the poorest. Think of the kindest to the most unkindest. See that they are all connected to the Earth, just as you are. They all belong.

Send love to every single person in the world. See that they are all parents, children, siblings and friends. See that they all have good traits in them, even if they are not often shown. We were all born to be peaceful and happy, we are all essentially good. Shower everyone in the world with love, compassion and forgiveness.

Kindness can be difficult, depending on who it’s directed at, but by incorporating more compassion into our lives, we can only benefit. We can only become happier people. Holding grudges and being unforgiving hurts us most of all, because we’re carrying negative feelings in our body. Let it go.

That’s all for you. Thank you for reading,

Chloe

Mindfulness Meditation For Beginners

Mindfulness is the act of observing the present moment. We are often trapped in a constant stream of thoughts that either keep us feeling the guilt or regret of the past, or the anxiety of what will happen in the future. Regular mindfulness meditation will help you feel calmer and improve your concentration, and I promise you will only bring positive effects. But it’s not easily at the beginning and we have to start somewhere, so here we go.

Before I start, I want to say your mind will wonder. It’s no big deal, happens to all of us. It can be frustrating but every time you realise you’re thinking about your shopping list, just gently bring your focus back to your breath. Don’t feel irritated or annoyed with yourself, expect it to happen. Just bring your focus back when you can.

  • Find a comfortable seat, close your eyes and take 5 full deep breaths. Connect and pay attention to them
  • Return your breath to normal and listen for sounds outside of the room your in. Listen to the traffic, birds, TV, people talking, or anything else you may here
  • Bring your attention into the room, listen to the sounds. This may only be your breathing if you’re lucky enough to find a quiet place
  • Put your hands on your stomach. Feel your stomach expand as you inhale, and contract as you exhale. Count 1 as you breathe in, 2 as you breathe out. Do this to a count of 10
  • Count your breath to 10, 3 more times
  • Bring your attention back into the room, listen to the sounds
  • Listen to the sounds outside of the room
  • Open your eyes slowly and say ‘I am grateful for this calm’

That’s it! Now since I can’t give you timescales or cues for when to move on to the next step through writing, it’s up to you to take the reins. You can make this meditation as short or as long as you want, play around with it and if you feel like it’s time to move on to the next step, go ahead. Adapt it to whatever works.

Thank you for reading,

Chloe

How To Get Over Heartbreak

I am so sorry you are hurting. I know that it’s horrible and nothing feels right and you don’t know what to do, that you feel so alone and you’re worried you’ll never feel the same again.

Heartbreak is hell.

And although it’s been quite a while since I’ve dealt with it, I can still feel the emptiness in my chest and the desperate need for someone else who doesn’t feel the same way. I spent a long, long time being heartbroken and I didn’t do myself any favours – I’m here to tell you my advice on how to make the most of a bad situation. Nothing will make this better straight away, but some things may help.

1.Acknowledge Your Emotions: You’re Allowed To Hurt

I was 15 when I got heartbroken, and boy did I know about it. I told myself ‘You’re 14, it wasn’t real love, you’ll get over it” and I did, but it took a while. It may have been a relationship that only lasted a couple of months at a time but it hurt like hell for years. And I wholeheartedly believe that it was because I didn’t let myself deal with it properly.

You’re allowed to feel this pain. The person you’ve lost meant so much to you, understand that you’ll need a bit of time to come to terms with it. 15 or not, heartbreak is one of the worst pains I’ve ever experienced and it deservs to be acknowledged as a real feeling. Spend a couple of times in bed, watch break up films and cry to sad songs. Look a thei pictures and grieve everything you’ve lost. It’s oka to feel hurt.

2.Accept: Everything Happens For A Reason

Sometimes it might feel like a mistake. Like you were in the wrong, you should’ve been a better girlfriend and if you can just show him you can change, everything will be fine.

Wrong.

Whether or not you’re a bad girlfriend, break ups don’t just happen, there are reasons behind it. If the relationship was flawed enough for the person to be unhappy, it needs to come to an end. Whether or not you end up back together or you end up falling in love with someone else, this event is supposed to happen at this time. There is a plan for you, whether it’s a couple of months on a break to grow or the chance to find someone you really do love. You need to have faith that everything will work out for the best.

This is something that is supposed to happen so stop fighting it, just accept it for what it is.

3. Move On: Out Of Sight, Out Of Mind

You’ve had your time to look like crap and stalk their Facebook for a couple of weeks but enough is enough. Talking here is the queen of hanging on for too long and all it did was cause a lot of heartache. Now is the time to move on with your life, and that means cutting them out. You cannot fully focus on yourself if you’re preoccupied with someone else.

That means block them on Facebook, and every other social media website. Delete their photos or at least put them somewhere you won’t be able to look at them for a while. Stop worrying about them, thinking about them and watching them. Focus on you.

Start a new hobby. Go out with your friends. Create something new and work on improving yourself and growing while you have to chance to enjoy your own company. To be truly happy in a relationship, you have to be happy on your own, so your future relationships are choices and not just being dependant on someone because you’re too scred to be alone. Spend some time with no distractions and really get to know yourself, turn into the person you want to be so you’re perfect for the person who is perfect for you.

They will come along.

Fun fact: My boyfriend and I actually got together three years after we broke up, and we’ve now been together for nearly two years. I am so happy in this relationship and it always feels perfect, and I can see now why I had to get hurt before. I needed to fall in love with the right person but at the wrong time, neither of us were ready but when we were, the connection was there. Everything worked out exactly the way it was supposed to. And it will for you too, I promise.

Thank you for reading,

Chloe