Loving Kindness Meditation

A theory is that the more compassionate and empathetic we are with others, the happier we will be. Loving Kindness meditation can help strengthen out relationships, help us to forgive others, let go of grudges that continue to hurt us, and improve our own self acceptance. Incorporating a quick 5 minute practice into your day to day life will have significant effects on your mood, emotional intelligence and self purpose.

So first I want you to find a comfortable seat. If you want to use a cushion to prop yourself up and improve your posture, go ahead. Close your eyes or keep them slightly open if you’re tired, and begin to take notice of your breath. Take 10 deep breaths.

Next, begin to create a positive energy between your hands. Direct all of your feelings of compassion, kindness and love towards it. Wish happiness, peace, safety and protection towards the area between your hands and allow the feeling to spread and wash over your entire body.

Now imagine meeting yourself and giving yourself a hug. Wrap your arms tight around yourself and give yourself the amazing feeling of warmth and love you have created. Send the positive energy to yourself and allow it to take over your entire body. Then, either outloud or in your head, say:

  • May I be happy and joyful
  • May I be healthy and strong
  • May I be calm and peaceful
  • May I be safe and secure
  • I am perfect, I am loved

Next, think of someone you love. It could be a family member, a close friend or someone you look up to. Wrap your arms around them in your mind and send your positive energy to them. Then, say:

  • May you be happy and joyful
  • May you be healthy and strong
  • May you be calm and peaceful
  • May you be safe and secure
  • You are perfect, you are loved

Next, think of an aqquantice. Someone you know but aren’t friends with, or someone you saw walking down to street. Hug them tightly and say:

  • May you be happy and joyful,
  • May you be…

Then think someone who has hurt you, or someone you are holding a grudge against. Repeat the same previous steps, saying the five sentences in your head, directed at them.

Now imagine every person in the world. People you know and people you don’t. Think of the richest people in the world to the poorest. Think of the kindest to the most unkindest. See that they are all connected to the Earth, just as you are. They all belong.

Send love to every single person in the world. See that they are all parents, children, siblings and friends. See that they all have good traits in them, even if they are not often shown. We were all born to be peaceful and happy, we are all essentially good. Shower everyone in the world with love, compassion and forgiveness.

Kindness can be difficult, depending on who it’s directed at, but by incorporating more compassion into our lives, we can only benefit. We can only become happier people. Holding grudges and being unforgiving hurts us most of all, because we’re carrying negative feelings in our body. Let it go.

That’s all for you. Thank you for reading,

Chloe

My Meditation Essentials

The thing I love about meditation is what you can do it anywhere with absolutely nothing at all. You don’t need any fancy props, somewhere quiet may make it a bit easier but essentially all you need is your mind. That being said, there are a couple of things I enjoy having on hand during my practice to help me out a bit.

1. Meditation Timer

For the most part, I like my meditations short and sweet. Meditation Timer for iPhone is a free app which allows you to set an overall meditation time, and shorter intervals in between. I find this useful, for example, if I’m incorporating different types of meditation or techniques to a certain time. The app allows you to set your timer alert to a bell or other relaxing sounds, which are a lot nicer sound to bring you out of a meditation than a blaring ringtone. It also gives you a few seconds of preparation time before and after your practice, because we all know it takes a while to get comfy and to find your seat.

2. Yoga Mat

A yoga mat sets the mood and an association with my meditation practice. Every time I roll out my mat I know it’s time to quieten my mind, and this allows me to pack it away and take it anywhere with me if I want to. It also comes in handy for, you know, yoga. And exercise and stuff. You can buy one anywhere, but I got my pretty purple one from Amazon (surprise, surprise – 90% of everything I own comes from that damn website).

3. Cushion

Not only is the floor uncomfortable after a while, especially if you’ve got a bony bum like me, but I find my posture is naturally of the Mr Burnes kind. I read somewhere that the optimal way to sit is with your hips raised, and your legs hanging down in a diagonal position. This improves your posture dramatically and is a lot more comfortable than a yoga block. You can spend around £20 for a special ‘meditation cushion’ or you could just grab one off your bed and pound it into place at the beginning of every practice like I do.

4. Candle

I like my meditation practice to feel spiritual. I like to make it ‘me’ time, and a candle is another way to get myself into the right mindset. It creates a lovely atmosphere and makes it a lot easier to relax. I also sometimes sit the candle directly in front of me and use the flame or the scent as a focus point for attention based meditation. I’m gifted with candles every Christmas and birthday so I’m never exactly running low on the things.

And there you go! These are my essentials, however there are other meditation ‘props’ you could also use:

❁ Prayer beads
❁ Crystals
❁ Essential oils
❁ Buddha Statue/Shrine
❁ Meditation Apps (Headspace and Calm are my favourites)
❁ Anything else you can think of, be creative!

Thank you for reading,

Chloe

 

Mindfulness Meditation For Beginners

Mindfulness is the act of observing the present moment. We are often trapped in a constant stream of thoughts that either keep us feeling the guilt or regret of the past, or the anxiety of what will happen in the future. Regular mindfulness meditation will help you feel calmer and improve your concentration, and I promise you will only bring positive effects. But it’s not easily at the beginning and we have to start somewhere, so here we go.

Before I start, I want to say your mind will wonder. It’s no big deal, happens to all of us. It can be frustrating but every time you realise you’re thinking about your shopping list, just gently bring your focus back to your breath. Don’t feel irritated or annoyed with yourself, expect it to happen. Just bring your focus back when you can.

  • Find a comfortable seat, close your eyes and take 5 full deep breaths. Connect and pay attention to them
  • Return your breath to normal and listen for sounds outside of the room your in. Listen to the traffic, birds, TV, people talking, or anything else you may here
  • Bring your attention into the room, listen to the sounds. This may only be your breathing if you’re lucky enough to find a quiet place
  • Put your hands on your stomach. Feel your stomach expand as you inhale, and contract as you exhale. Count 1 as you breathe in, 2 as you breathe out. Do this to a count of 10
  • Count your breath to 10, 3 more times
  • Bring your attention back into the room, listen to the sounds
  • Listen to the sounds outside of the room
  • Open your eyes slowly and say ‘I am grateful for this calm’

That’s it! Now since I can’t give you timescales or cues for when to move on to the next step through writing, it’s up to you to take the reins. You can make this meditation as short or as long as you want, play around with it and if you feel like it’s time to move on to the next step, go ahead. Adapt it to whatever works.

Thank you for reading,

Chloe

How To Get Over Heartbreak

I am so sorry you are hurting. I know that it’s horrible and nothing feels right and you don’t know what to do, that you feel so alone and you’re worried you’ll never feel the same again.

Heartbreak is hell.

And although it’s been quite a while since I’ve dealt with it, I can still feel the emptiness in my chest and the desperate need for someone else who doesn’t feel the same way. I spent a long, long time being heartbroken and I didn’t do myself any favours – I’m here to tell you my advice on how to make the most of a bad situation. Nothing will make this better straight away, but some things may help.

1.Acknowledge Your Emotions: You’re Allowed To Hurt

I was 15 when I got heartbroken, and boy did I know about it. I told myself ‘You’re 14, it wasn’t real love, you’ll get over it” and I did, but it took a while. It may have been a relationship that only lasted a couple of months at a time but it hurt like hell for years. And I wholeheartedly believe that it was because I didn’t let myself deal with it properly.

You’re allowed to feel this pain. The person you’ve lost meant so much to you, understand that you’ll need a bit of time to come to terms with it. 15 or not, heartbreak is one of the worst pains I’ve ever experienced and it deservs to be acknowledged as a real feeling. Spend a couple of times in bed, watch break up films and cry to sad songs. Look a thei pictures and grieve everything you’ve lost. It’s oka to feel hurt.

2.Accept: Everything Happens For A Reason

Sometimes it might feel like a mistake. Like you were in the wrong, you should’ve been a better girlfriend and if you can just show him you can change, everything will be fine.

Wrong.

Whether or not you’re a bad girlfriend, break ups don’t just happen, there are reasons behind it. If the relationship was flawed enough for the person to be unhappy, it needs to come to an end. Whether or not you end up back together or you end up falling in love with someone else, this event is supposed to happen at this time. There is a plan for you, whether it’s a couple of months on a break to grow or the chance to find someone you really do love. You need to have faith that everything will work out for the best.

This is something that is supposed to happen so stop fighting it, just accept it for what it is.

3. Move On: Out Of Sight, Out Of Mind

You’ve had your time to look like crap and stalk their Facebook for a couple of weeks but enough is enough. Talking here is the queen of hanging on for too long and all it did was cause a lot of heartache. Now is the time to move on with your life, and that means cutting them out. You cannot fully focus on yourself if you’re preoccupied with someone else.

That means block them on Facebook, and every other social media website. Delete their photos or at least put them somewhere you won’t be able to look at them for a while. Stop worrying about them, thinking about them and watching them. Focus on you.

Start a new hobby. Go out with your friends. Create something new and work on improving yourself and growing while you have to chance to enjoy your own company. To be truly happy in a relationship, you have to be happy on your own, so your future relationships are choices and not just being dependant on someone because you’re too scred to be alone. Spend some time with no distractions and really get to know yourself, turn into the person you want to be so you’re perfect for the person who is perfect for you.

They will come along.

Fun fact: My boyfriend and I actually got together three years after we broke up, and we’ve now been together for nearly two years. I am so happy in this relationship and it always feels perfect, and I can see now why I had to get hurt before. I needed to fall in love with the right person but at the wrong time, neither of us were ready but when we were, the connection was there. Everything worked out exactly the way it was supposed to. And it will for you too, I promise.

Thank you for reading,

Chloe

How To Raise Your Vibration With One Simple Method!

Have you ever heard of the Law of Attraction?

If you haven’t, watch The Secret on Netflix. You’ll thank me later.

The Law of Attraction is the idea that you can attract anything you want into your life. You can be rich, successful, find the love of your life, have infinite health or anything else you can possibly think of. And this ‘life hack’ is said to be done by changing one simple thing about yourself: your thoughts.

Let’s look at it this way. If you spend all your days complaining, talking about how much you hate your job, how no one loves you and that you’ll never be happy – that’s exactly what you’re going to get. That sends a negative vibration to the Universe that effects your life, and therefore attracts more negative things to you. But if you spend your whole day thinking about how lucky you are to have your job (even if you don’t really feel that way), how you are surrounded by love and that you’re so happy – that’s what your life will become. You’ll attract great opportunities and ‘coincidences’ that will change your life for the better. It’s that simple!

And that’s what I thought. And I made the choice to have happy thoughts all the time, to only be grateful and to pretend I had the dream life I wanted until I actually had.

Yeah, it didn’t really go like that.

Turns out it’s really difficult to fake. I came up with affirmations and visualisations, but part of me never really believe them. I wanted them to be true, and I daydreamed about an amazing life but I wasn’t connecting with it emotionally. See, the trick is to feel the feeling you would actually feel if you won £1 million on the jackpot. Try as I might, I couldn’t really do it.

Then I thought of something; music.

Maybe it’s just me, but I am in love with music. I go so far as being happy to be in the car for about three hours on the way to Wales because it means I can put my earphones in the whole time. I’ll easily bawl my eyes out at a sad song when I need to, and I absolutely love listening to that catchy guilty pleasure song that makes you start dancing without even realising it.

I had never put the two together before, but now I can see it makes a perfect match. Beats lying in bed to Emile Sande and imagining all the mean things I’d like to say to my ex, anyway.

So if you’re anything like me, and music changes your emotions, use that to raise your vibration and genuinely make yourself excited about something. Listen to a song you love and imagine your dream life, imagine getting up at 5am with sunrise yoga session and a green smoothie and feeling amazing. Dance to a song and imagine you’re dancing with your children in the kitchen of your five bedroom home. Even if it is that really sappy Disney song from your childhood that you can never not love, though you’ll never admit it – just try it. Really try to hone in on the emotions of the music and the possibilities are endless.

Thank you for reading,

Chloe

My Morning Routine For Success // Love & Light Meditations

Imagine a day you wake up late, rush to have a shower, skip breakfast and turn up to work a little bit dishevelled and slightly on edge. On the other hand, imagine a day when you wake up a little bit earlier, take your time to get ready and spend about half an hour on self development before you’ve eve left the house. The difference to the start of your day often effects all of it, so it’s extremely important to begin it right.

Now, Im not saying I do this routine every day, or necessarily always in the morning. But I do try to fit in just a little bit of time each day to work on myself, to allow myself to grow and to have some much needed ‘me’ time. I find such a change in my mood and perspective on the days I do this routine that I’ve found myself doing it more and more. However, don’t take this as gospel. Adapt it to fit your needs and the time you have – if you want to add or take away something, go for it. Here are just some ideas:

1. Reading

We all know that reading’s good for us, right? But sitting down with a book with the sole purpose of sifting our attitude or giving us a new outlook can have wonders on our mood. Sit down, even if it’s only for five minutes and read your favourite book. Some of my favourites are:

  • Thich Nhat Hanh
  • Miranda Kerr
  • Eckhart Tolle
  • Rebecca Eanes

2. Affirmations

If you’ve been on Pinterest lately, I’m sure you’re aware of what these are. Affirmations are sentences or statement that we continuously repeat to ourselves to inspire change. They are things we want to be true and the goal is that if we keep instilling the idea into our minds, one day it will be. Examples may include:

  • I am confident, I am beautiful
  • I communicate my thoughts and feelings with others easily
  • My creativity flows through me
  • I am kind, I enjoy helping others
  • My body is radiant and healthy

You can repeat these affirmations in your head, by speaking them out loud (look into a mirror if you want to be really cheesy) or by writing them out. I usually make them up on the spot depending on what I want to focus on, but sometimes look for inspiration online or in books. My four or five affirmations usually revolve around the person I want to be, and who I would be in an ideal world if there was nothing ‘standing in the way.’

3. Visualisation

This continues on from the last step. Once I’ve repeated my affirmations, I will then visualise what the statements would look like if they were true. This is your chance to daydream and fantisise your perfect life, all in the name of self improvement! An example of this may be:

  • I am confident

I would imagine walking into a room or a difficult situation with an air of confidence surrounding me. I would imagine standing tall and feeling in charge and the person people look up to. Nothing phases me, I keep a cool head at all times and never doubt myself. I know what I’m doing and always find the best solution for everyone.

However, visulisation does not have to be limited to your personality or attitude. Imagine your dream house, having never ending weath, meeting the love of your life or bein successful beyond your wildest dreams. This is the step that is most fun and allows you to have the most creativity. Try to put all of your energy into your visulisations and try to make them as real to you as you possibly can. I guarantee this will improve your mood!

4. Meditation

Now my theory is that I should’ve settled some of my thoughts through visualising, and that this should make it slightly easier to meditate. Ha! I wish, right? A lot of the time I can be stuck for affirmations when I need them but boy, do I get hundreds popping into my mind when I’m trying to quieten my thoughts. However, now is the time is to sit down and meditate.

You can do so by focusing on your breath, the sounds you can hear around you, how your body moves as you breath or creating even more positive thoughts through a Loving Kindness meditation. I will be making posts on meditation techniques later on, but beginners may find it easier if they practice with an app (Headspace or Calm are my favourites) or a guided meditation (you can find thousands on Youtube – just look for the pictures of waterfalls).

5. Journal

I was always really rubbish at keeping journals as a kid. I would start one and write a couple of pages about boring little life as an eight year old, get a couple of days in and then give up. And I won’t even go into the couple of times when I was a moody teenager and wrote about how I hated life and no one understood me, and the embarrassment when someone found and read it. I’d rather not revisit that shame.

But the way I journal now is very different to how I ever have. Personally, I use mine mainly for gratitude lists. After reading The Magic by Rhonda Byrne, I discovered the huge shift in perspective and mood that counting your blessings even once gives you. I write 3-10 when I do it, and more often than not find tears in my eyes from the realisation of just how lucky I am to have everything I have. Here’s how to do it:

  • Think of something you’re grateful for and why
  • Write it down, ‘I am so grateful for… because‘ (the because part is very important)
  • Put as much detail into why you’re grateful as you can think of
  • When you’ve made your list, read one at a time and say ‘thank you, thank you, thank you!’ for each thing
  • Try to feel as much gratitude as you can. Don’t just go through the motions. Think about what life would be like without it and how blessed you are.

For example (it doesn’t have to be this long):

“I am so grateful for all of the food I’ve eaten today, because it made me feel full and satisfied and gave me energy. I am able to choose and eat anything I wish to, I have a abundance of choice and the wealth to have anything I please. I am able to eat food that is delicious and healthy for me, that boosts my immune system and keeps my body running. I am so blessed, thank you, thank you, thank you!”

Alternatively, sometimes I’ll write out the affirmations that I thought about earlier a couple of times, just to really instil them into my mind. That’s as far as my journaling goes for now, however you could write down to do lists, rant to get out all of your thoughts on paper or scribble out ideas. The possibilities are endless.

And that’s all I have for now! As I said earlier, change and adapt this as much as you can depending on your time schedule and what works best for you, but I honestly think that having a routine like this will really help you out in the long run.

Thank you for reading,

Chloe